The Art of Stepping Outside your Comfort Zone

We have had countless experiences in our lives were we have started something without knowing the exact outcome. Perhaps this new calling, thing, opportunity, desire, is the same thing?

There is a particular moment that happens right before we step outside our comfort zone.

The mind starts doing the math and proposing the "what if" questions as we prepare to hit the commit button.

It happened for me as I booked spaces for Queer Escape & Reboot in Spain and it happened again as I booked spaces for my first Sacred Intimacy retreat in Ft. Lauderdale for February and the next Queer Escape & Reboot - Island Edition, set for Belize in May, 2027.

What if nobody signs up? What if I lose money? What if it's a bad idea? What if this doesn’t work?

And then, intentionally sometimes, other questions: What if it does work? People come. It's impactful and yes, it's successful too?

Over recent years, I’ve been learning that some of the most meaningful things I've experienced required me to make a commitment before I had any guarantee of the outcome. I was required to step outside my comfort zone in order to make room for the magic to happen.

The Comfort Zone Has Its Purpose

I'm not against comfort. I actually love it. A comfy bed, home, my familiar care (Barbara), my job.

Comfort can be beautiful and restorative. Safe and familiar.

But I've learned that my comfort zone is rarely where my next chapter is waiting. Perhaps stepping outside our comfort zone isn't really about becoming someone completely different or doing something radical. Rather it's about giving myself or something room to emerge.

Spain required that of me. Fort Lauderdale is asking for it again. Belize as well. And I still don't know exactly how any of it will unfold. That's the beautiful and scary part.

But the truth is, I don't need to know.

We have had countless experiences in our lives were we have started something without knowing the exact outcome. Perhaps this new calling, thing, opportunity, desire, is the same thing?

Yes, I need to prepare. I need to listen. I need to do the work. I need to make wise decisions. But I also have come to recognize I will learn from the experience, no matter the outcome.

Clinging to certainty, what's familiar and what I can control, keeps me small. Getting outside my comfort zone allows me to expand.

What's Waiting Outside Your Comfort Zone?

Maybe there's something you've been thinking about doing. A trip. A conversation. A career change. A relationship shift. A creative idea. A retreat.

A doorway you've been standing in front of waiting for certainty before you'll allow yourself to turn the handle. Yet everything inside of you is screaming, "do it." Yes. Yes. Yes.

Perhaps the question isn't: “How do I know this will work?”

Perhaps it's: “Do I believe enough in what's possible to trust my knowing and lean into the unknown?”

No one can guarantee what you'll find on the other side. But I can tell you this: Some doors don't open until we decide to open them. There is also the possibility the universe my kick you through it regardless of whether you thought you were ready or not.

I often share with clients and friends this belief or understanding that I am come to know in recent years. We can either choose to walk through the doorway and do the next, big, scary thing or the universe will push us through it.

This life we have come to know, in my experience is not about living small, or pain free or comfortable all the time. It's about experiencing the unexpected, it's about over-coming challenges. It's about leaning into the question, why is this happening for me, instead of too me.

This is why, I have decided to be much more proactive in the decisions and changes in my life as of late; To move out and get my own condo. To setup away from my full time job to pursue my wellness business. To host international retreats and expand my services offering because it's new, scary, rewarding and full of opportunity. Plus I get to work along side the universe in the creation as opposed to chaotically responding to changes I had been fretting or to afraid to embrace on my own.

Commitment Before Certainty

There is a difference between being reckless and taking an intentional risk. Recklessness ignores reality. Intentional risk looks at the information available, listens to intuition, prepares as well as possible—and recognizes that there will never be a moment when every variable is guaranteed.

Eventually, you have to make the move, the commitment. Spain taught me that. And apparently, I was paying attention. Because I just made two more commitments.

In February, over Valentine's Day weekend I’ll host a small Sacred Intimacy Retreat in Fort Lauderdale—an intimate experience centered around connection, embodiment, giving and receiving, pleasure, confidence and sacred intimacy.

And then there is the next Queer Escape & Reboot - Island Edition. This one feels particularly special. For my birthday weekend at the end of May, Queer Escape & Reboot is heading to an island retreat space off the coast of Belize.

Yes. An island. Another destination. Another commitment. Another investment made before I know exactly who will say yes. And another opportunity to discover what becomes possible because I did.

If something in you is curious about joining a future retreat, exploring the magic, or simply discovering what might be waiting outside your own comfort zone, I invite you to connect with me.

I am certain, your next doorway is waiting. Which one is calling you?

Warmly,

Chad Putman, MSW

Makeyourithappen.com

Chad Putman, MSW, a social worker, wellness practitioner, breathwork facilitator, retreat guide, and creator of The Seven Doorways, a transformational framework designed to help gay, bi, and queer men navigate change with greater awareness, embodiment, courage, and connection.

My professional journey began in social work and behavioral health, supporting people through crisis, transition, recovery, and some of life’s most vulnerable moments. Over time, my work expanded beyond traditional systems of care into coaching, breathwork, somatic and embodiment practices, retreats, sacred intimacy, and transformational wellness.

Today, through Make Your It Happen, I create experiences that invite people to move beyond simply talking about change and begin experiencing it — through the body, breath, reflection, connection, and intentional action.

Coming Home Through a Different Doorway

Reflections from Spain, Queer Escape & Reboot, and What Comes Next

I’m writing this from Valencia, at the end of nearly three weeks in Spain.

This evening I’ll take the train back to Barcelona, and Monday morning I begin the journey home to Florida.

And I keep returning to one simple feeling:

Gratitude.

Gratitude for the places I’ve seen.

For the people I’ve met.

For the meals, beaches, trains, unexpected conversations and moments of wonder.

Gratitude for traveling alone.

Gratitude for six men who said yes to something that, until recently, existed mostly as an idea in my heart and pages in a workbook.

And gratitude that I trusted myself enough to come here and see what might happen.

Traveling Alone — But Not Really Alone

There is something powerful about solo travel.

You get to decide when to wander and when to stop. You learn which streets you’re curious enough to walk down without knowing where they lead. You sit at tables by yourself. You navigate unfamiliar train stations. You occasionally get lost.

And somewhere along the way, you begin listening differently.

Spain gave me plenty of opportunities for that.

Barcelona brought energy, curiosity and possibility. The countryside offered stillness. Sitges brought freedom, playfulness and queer community. Valencia has given me space to exhale and begin integrating everything that happened before returning home.

Travel reminded me that we don’t always need to know exactly where we are going.

Sometimes we simply need to recognize the doorway in front of us—and be willing to walk through it.

That lesson became even more meaningful during Queer Escape & Reboot.

Six Men. Seven Doorways. One Experiment in Trust.

When I began imagining Queer Escape & Reboot, I knew I wanted to create something different.

Not a vacation disguised as a retreat.

Not seven days packed with workshops and activities.

And definitely not an experience where I stood in front of a room pretending to have all the answers.

I wanted to create a container where gay, bi and queer men could step away from their everyday lives long enough to hear themselves again.

Six men trusted me enough to come to Spain and explore that possibility.

We began in the countryside at Terra Rosa, surrounded by nature and removed from many of the distractions of everyday life.

We breathed.

We meditated.

We explored our bodies and the stories they carry.

We laughed.

We shared meals.

We sat together in vulnerability.

We experienced moments of emotion, insight, connection and release.

And through it all, we explored The Seven Doorways:

Stillness.

Remembering.

Letting Go.

Knowing.

Becoming.

Expansion.

Giving.

What became clear very quickly was that the Doorways weren't something I needed to teach.

Each man began discovering which doorway was already calling him.

For one, it was the discomfort of Stillness.

For another, Letting Go.

For another, Becoming.

For another, Giving.

The framework simply gave us language for conversations and experiences that were already waiting to happen.

That may have been one of my greatest lessons as a facilitator.

I didn't need to manufacture transformation.

I needed to create enough safety, intention and spaciousness for people to encounter themselves.

From Retreat to Freedom

After several days together in the countryside, we traveled to Sitges.

And the energy changed.

There was more freedom.

More exploration.

More play.

More choice.

People could spend time together or wander off on their own. Go to the beach. Explore town. Rest. Exercise. Eat. Talk. Laugh. Or simply disappear for a few hours and follow whatever called them.

That freedom became part of the retreat too.

Because healing and growth don't only happen while sitting in circles or lying on a mat doing breathwork.

Sometimes growth looks like allowing yourself to play.

Sometimes it looks like taking your shirt off.

Sometimes it looks like being seen.

Sometimes it looks like saying no.

Sometimes it looks like saying yes.

Sometimes it looks like realizing you don't need anyone else's permission at all.

On our final evening together, we gathered organically for our closing circle.

We reflected on the previous seven days, arrived back in the present moment, and considered the people we were becoming as we prepared to return home.

There were emotions.

There was laughter.

There was gratitude.

And there was love.

Then the next morning, everyone began heading toward whatever came next.

As retreats eventually must.

The Doorways Don't Close When the Retreat Ends

That has stayed with me during these final days traveling alone.

The Seven Doorways were never intended to be seven steps toward becoming a better person.

There isn't a finish line.

We move through these Doorways again and again throughout our lives.

Sometimes we need Stillness.

Sometimes something needs to be Remembered.

Sometimes we're being asked to Let Go.

Sometimes we already Know.

Sometimes we're Becoming someone we haven't fully met yet.

Sometimes life asks us to Expand.

And eventually, what we've experienced becomes something we can Give.

Perhaps that's the doorway I'm standing in now.

Because Spain gave me much more than a successful retreat.

It gave me confirmation.

Confirmation that the work I've been cultivating—breathwork, meditation, embodiment, sacred intimacy, coaching, connection, chosen family and the Seven Doorways—belongs together.

I don't have to squeeze it into someone else's definition of wellness.

I can continue creating the spaces I wish existed.

And that's what I'm bringing home.

September: Bringing the Work Home

When I return to St. Petersburg, I'll be opening several ways to work and connect with me.

One will be a new Men's Circle — After Hours, a small, closed weekday evening circle designed for deeper conversation, connection and exploration.

This won't be another networking group or a place where anyone has to perform.

It will be an intimate space where men can explore the things we don't always have places to talk about: shame, desire, fear, body image, intimacy, loneliness, freedom, sexuality, aging, relationships, change, what's keeping us boxed in—and what might be waiting on the other side.

I'll also be expanding Chosen Family Wellness Services, offering personalized companionship, wellness and life support for gay, bi and queer men who value having someone in their corner—not simply a provider, but consistent chosen-family-style support.

My individual work will continue as well, including Tantra Touch and sacred intimacy sessions, breathwork, guided meditation, embodiment, coaching and personalized wellness experiences.

And I'll continue creating opportunities to experience breathwork locally, both individually and in community.

Some people may want a single experience.

Others may be looking for ongoing support.

Some may eventually join me for another retreat.

And some may simply be curious about which of the Seven Doorways seems to be calling them right now.

All of those are welcome.

Which Doorway Is Calling You?

As I prepare to leave Spain, I find myself thinking less about what I'm leaving behind and more about what I'm carrying home.

The retreat is over.

The workbook has fingerprints in it now.

The Doorways have stories attached to them.

Six men carried their own experiences back into their lives.

And I am returning home changed by the experience too.

Maybe that's what travel can do.

Maybe that's what retreat can do.

Maybe that's what happens anytime we're brave enough to leave the familiar for a little while.

We don't necessarily come back as someone completely different.

We simply come back having remembered a little more of who we already are.

I'll be back in St. Petersburg in September and opening my calendar for Men's Circle — After Hours, Chosen Family Wellness Services, individual Tantra Touch and wellness sessions, breathwork experiences and other ways of exploring this work together.

If something you've read here stirred curiosity, recognition or even a little discomfort, pay attention to it.

There may be a doorway there.

You don't have to know what's waiting on the other side.

Sometimes you just have to be willing to open it.

Chad Putman, MSW

Make Your It Happen

Creator of The Seven Doorways & Queer Escape & Reboot

Which Doorway Is Calling You?

Travel has a way of changing how we see things.

When we step outside our familiar environment, even briefly, our routines loosen and new possibilities become easier to notice. The questions we have pushed aside may become clearer. A choice that once felt impossible may reveal another path. A doorway we had overlooked may begin calling or whispering for our attention.

As I travel through Spain, I am experiencing that shift in perspective myself. I would like to bring some of that spaciousness and outside-the-bubble thinking into my coaching conversations.

For this week only, I am opening a limited number of 60-minute private virtual coaching sessions for $25.

I call this a First Doorway Session.

This is not a brief discovery call or a sales conversation. It is a complete coaching session centered on you. You may bring a decision you are facing, a transition you are navigating, a pattern you want to understand, or a possibility you are not yet sure how to pursue.

During our hour together, we will create space to:

Clarify what is asking for your attention.

Look beyond your usual assumptions and thought patterns.

Explore the doorway or possibility that feels most alive.

Identify a practical and meaningful next step.

The $25 introductory rate makes this private session more accessible - comparable for many people to a typical co-pay - while giving you the freedom to choose a coach whose style and perspective resonate with you. Coaching is not therapy or a replacement for mental-health care, but it can provide focused support as you move toward clarity, change, and purposeful action.

At the end of our session, if continued coaching feels like the right fit, I will share several options for working together over four, six, or eight sessions. There is no obligation to continue. The first session stands on its own as a dedicated hour for reflection, exploration, and forward movement.

Sometimes we do not need all the answers. We simply need enough space and perspective to recognize the next doorway.

The First Doorway Session

60-minute private virtual session

Introductory invitation: $25

Available this week only while I am traveling in Spain, August 25-30th.

Warmly,

Chad Putman, MSW

Makeyourithappen.com

Creator: The Seven Doorways

Chad Putman, MSW, a social worker, wellness practitioner, breathwork facilitator, retreat guide, and creator of The Seven Doorways, a transformational framework designed to help gay, bi, and queer men navigate change with greater awareness, embodiment, courage, and connection.

My professional journey began in social work and behavioral health, supporting people through crisis, transition, recovery, and some of life’s most vulnerable moments. Over time, my work expanded beyond traditional systems of care into coaching, breathwork, somatic and embodiment practices, retreats, sacred intimacy, and transformational wellness.

Today, through Make Your It Happen, I create experiences that invite people to move beyond simply talking about change and begin experiencing it — through the body, breath, reflection, connection, and intentional action.